Overachieving Beinu Geniuses

It has been a pleasantly busy November for me. I took a one-week trip mid-month to California, visiting Kristin, and got to see Yamei, Koren and Grace Wang – my greatest reward. Everyone seemed to be doing well, which is something to be thankful for.

It was interesting to come back to New York and talked with Agnes about the fate of the many overachievers from Beinu in America. (Her sister was one of them, and we had a couple, sort of, from the Shu class too.) The culture in Beinu was such that all we had to do was to work super hard to stay on top of the class, and we would be recognized for our “talents”. Unfortunately, once out of school, there is more to life than getting good grade. All the Beinu advantages could not guarantee success in America. In America, some Beinu achievers may succeed where others fail, and some Beinu geniuses may just get a little luckier than other Beinu geniuses.

Overachievers are by nature hypercompetitive, no matter how old they become. Life is unfair. There is surely a lot of later-day disappointments for the Beinu genius type in the Chinese quarters of American cities. This phenomenon is nothing unique about Chinese, however, we Chinese have perfected the art of jealousy and envy.

Is it necessary to be disappointed? I don’t think so. We may have spent too much time naval gazing - Time to rise above the narrow circle of Chinese and look around at this beautiful adoptive homeland, with all its intelligence, creativity, energy, interesting experiences to offer, and fascinating people to meet. I was fortunate to be exposed to the culture early on, through my American husband and his friends. I lived away from my Chinese friends back then. I had to struggle to learn new things by myself; I felt inadequate for not knowing the different forms of Western music, English literature, arts and sciences, and history in this country that made life worth living for; at the same time I was excited like a child about learning all these new experiences. Suffice to say that I have turned my competitiveness into competing with myself; I have worked hard trying to be a more cultured, broadly intelligent and happier person. Considering how far I have become, I feel personally fulfilled: This is not a wasted trip; it is certainly good enough for me; and I quite enjoy myself.

The conventional wisdom says, "If you aim higher, so will you fall harder." Ted Turner turned it around and observed, "If you aim higher than you are capable of, then you will always have something interesting to work on all through your life (so that you don't die off 24 months after you retire...)" The key is to satisfy yourself, not others.

Attached are a few Christmas gift jewelry I've recently made.



Happy Holidays.

Susie Li
11/30/2008