Yamei and husband Bob paid a short visit to New York to do some house hunting for their daughter who has been working and living in Manhattan for the past few years. I saw Yamei last November, 4 months ago, in San Francisco when I visited my daughter. She was still going through chemo, her hair slowly growing back to fine and budding shape, her spirit high but physically still somewhat weak.
This time, she is a different story – energetic, warm, interested, in her natural happiness, with a head of full and hardy hair (how I remember her hair used to be) and her usual lightness of style.
We (Chin-ming, Wei-ping, Yamei, Bob and I) met for brunch at the “Tavern on the Green”, an upscale garden dining place, before their Sunday house-hunt. Outside was still quite chilly (maybe in the 40F), but inside we bonded instantly. We still saw in each other the 18-years-old young girls from Beinu, despite the ages (It’s been 35 years since Beinu). We’ve found so much to enjoy in each other, as if we had never been separated before – This is true, enduring friendship.
Yamei told us that what helped her post-chemo recovery was work, “I started working right after the chemo. Everyday I worked, I was busy, I forget about my illness, and I didn’t think myself into a corner.” Work was, and is, her therapy. I suspect that to be true for the rest of us. “However, I have changed my priority after cancer. I’ve learned to put things into perspective.” Part of the priority is to take time off, to be with the loved ones, no matter how busy we are.
Bob is a nice man, funny, gentlemanly, no doubt a great husband. This is the first time I’ve met him, but we’ve already wholeheartedly accepted him into the Beinu family.
As we took a stroll through the busy Central Park, I mentioned an idea to Yamei of inviting Beinu alumni to write their individual “This I Believe” essays - a few hundred words to express the core principles or convictions that guide each of our lives till now. I know this project can be daunting. But I think it’s worth the try; here is why: As we grow older, slowing down from our busy lives of being mothers, wives, and professional women, and becoming more comfortable in our skins, we begin to reflect more on what we have done, what life is for, where we are going, and what is the one belief that has carried us through all these years. It won’t be a simple task (how can you condense one’s life in a few words?) or easy thing to write (should you tell a personal story, or just make a grand statement.) But we owe it to ourselves for not writing those words down, if not to sum up our lives before we pass on.
Three hours with Yamei was a short time, but we’ve really accomplished a great deal - We managed to make every minute count.
Susie Li
3/25/2009
